There are theories that help us understand family phenomena.
Theories are attempts to explain a phenomenon. Phenomenon’s are situations that
are happening. Families can be similar but they are all unique. People live in
all different circumstance and things are different than they used to be
several decades ago. Thus, these theories help us to relate and even help make
sense of why things function the way they do.
We studied four different family theories this week in
class. I enjoyed the Symbolic Interaction theory. “It views humans primarily as
cognitive creatures who are influenced and shaped by their interaction
experiences. “(Lauer&Handel 1983) The way I see it is as actions and
interactions symbolizing something more. We do things on a regular basis that
are symbolic to how we feel or want. It could be to our roommates, friends,
classmates, significant others and family. It could be words, gestures and
more. Sometimes we may recognize what we are doing and other times they are so
norm to us we don't see it.
In the Navajo culture we like to make jokes a lot and be
sarcastic. To some people it may seem harsh or rude. However, to most of us we
see it as being close. If you can tease someone without any harsh feelings then
there is no barrier. We don’t do it to tear people down at all. It is like an
icebreaker to ask funny questions. I remember growing up and going to family
gatherings where my aunts and uncles would ask where my boyfriend was. It
didn’t matter if I was 10 o 16. They would tease me. I enjoyed it because we
never had that awkward hey how are you doing conversations.
Another interaction that I noticed was whenever my parents
would be speaking the Navajo language underneath their breaths or in a different
room. You knew it was secretive or important if they were speaking Navajo. I
can understand some of it but sometimes they would be speaking it fast and I
couldn’t interpret. So, whenever they would speak Navajo in a different room my
sister and I knew something was up.
We all experience different symbols in our lives. We could
have miscommunications when someone does something we interpret differently. I
remember when I first started dating this boy, I would be quiet in the car. I
don’t really say much while I’m listening to music and pondering. Then one day
we were talking and he asked if I was mad at him because I was quiet in the
car. I laughed because I was not mad at all. I mean sometimes I am passive but
at that time I was totally fine. He said he got nervous and anxious because his
mom is quiet when she is mad. So, when I was quiet he thought I was mad but I
wasn’t. It was an interesting experience for the both of us.
Another quick experience was when I was in California and a
sister missionary from the Philippines kept winking at the guys. She got in
trouble because our mission president was told she was flirting with the guys.
Then one day she winked at me and I said, “stop flirting with me.” The look on
her face was so funny. She was so confused and asked, “is winking considered
flirting?” I said, “to some people.” Then she was laughing and said “That is
probably why I got in trouble because I’m always winking at the guys. In the
Philippines it’s not flirty.”
Those are just a few examples but it shows how our
interactions symbolize the way we feel or where we stand. I have learned that
it is different for everyone. It is bad to assume things because that could
strain the relationship. Be open and honest! If someone does something you
don’t understand just ask. It brings people closer when there is openness and
connections.
