There are so many patterns that people can develop in their
relationships. Some with their parents, siblings, friends and spouses. Thus,
wouldn’t we want to establish good patterns in our lives? Well, yes!
The pattern we learned about this week was marital intimacy
and the significant differences in this vital factor. As well as the stages of
sexual relations, challenges of sexual intimacy that may arise and opportunities.
This topic is somewhat touchy or uncommon for parents to
have with their children. However, if we slowly and honestly teach our children
they can learn correct patterns. Sexual/Marital intimacy is important to
healthy relationships; thus, it is a good thing to talk about. It is so easy to
get caught up in what the world teaches about sex. We live in a “sexualized”
world. We hear sexual content in music, see it on television, movies and can
access it on our social media sites. With these fantasies, unrealistic
expectations and faults people can be disappointed and discouraged.
I will go over a brief overview that is important for people
to know about sex. There are four stages in both male and female. They go
through the same stages but at different paces. The first stage is arousal/excitement.
This involves the heart rate and blood increasing with digestion going down.
Males have an erection and female’s vaginal muscles relax while lubricating.
Their nerves change at different phases as well. The next stage is Plateau
which is usually shorter for men and longer with women. Climax or orgasm is the
third stage. The people feel these normally at different times. It is rhythmic contractions
and pleasure. A woman could have multiple orgasms but varies as well. The last
stage is the refractory stage. In this stage things calm down and is a recover
from the sex. While this is taking place, the bodies are experiencing serotonin,
dopamine and in women oxytocin.
With this experience there are some challenges. Some of
these could be misunderstanding, being offended, mistrust because of previous
partner, fear, confusion of each other’s body, discomfort, inferior to what
they expected, unrealistic expectations, painful, selfishness and pornography.
Yet, there are also some opportunities to overcome these
challenges. There can be more open communication about what the person wants
and needs. It brings the couple closer and bonds them. It involves some
planning and preparing to discuss this important relationship. It can bring opportunities
of unselfishness in the couple’s relationship. More openness, unity and accommodation.
When we consider these challenges and opportunities of
sexual relationships we can help our children. With all the filth and
unrealistic ideas of sex our children can be led astray. Thus, when we
establish patterns when they are young they can know that when they are married
this can be an amazing experience for them. Martial intimacy is good and when
help within the bounds of marriage it is fulfilling.
Growing up I didn’t ever talk about these things with my
parents. Also, my peers did not know a whole lot about these things. A lot of
people were participating in sexual relations and I could see the struggles
that came with not knowing much. People were often hurt and felt used. Some
people were left single moms and others with having to drop out. At the time it
would have been helpful for them and me to know that those feelings were
natural. As well as that there are ways we can control or even be safe when it
comes to sex. When people are not aware of these things a lot of heartache happens.
But as we take responsibility as parents and future parents we can help our
families.
