Family and Society

For the most part I feel like we can all agree that family is important. We all live in different circumstances when it comes to family. We have big, small and medium families. In the Navajo culture, I can see the desire to have strong families. I am going to do my best to explain this part of my culture so bear with me. Traditionally, we are a matriarchal society. We receive inheritance and descent from our mothers. For example, I am Yucca Fruit strung in a line clan born for the Mexican clan. I have received my first clan from my mother and the second from my father. Knowing these ties helps me to relate not only biologically to others but through this clan system.

So yeah of course I see the closeness we try to create. I see how important family is to my friends and the people at home. I have so many cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents that I know personally. It is also common for other families to include someone from another family. The ties bring us together through good and bad times.

As I reflect on my own family life I ponder how true it is that intimate relationships are very important to humans. We have a basic need for close relationships.

When I think of family gatherings, I imagine most of my family being there. We celebrate grandma’s birthday's, weddings, births, graduation and holidays. Thus, my experience has been pretty good. Compared to society and media I see the similarities and differences. I grew up hearing common myths about families.

There are many myths but I would like to focus on three:

1.We've lost the extended family

2. Happily married people don't have conflict

3. Half of all marriages end in divorce

The first one about extended family is a myth. As you could notice me talking about my own family experience. We still have generations that are close. The number of multi-general households dropped for a while but rose again. People still live longer than they did back then.

The second one about conflict in marriage is a little silly to me. In a perfect world with perfect people there might be no arguing but that is not reality. I am taking a preparation for marriage class and a freedom and civil society class. They both work very well together! I have learned in just these few weeks that there will be differences, disagreements, and even some tension. However, they can create some creative tension and bring us closer. They can strengthen our relationships. An example of creative tension is when it becomes day to night and all the colors blend creating something beautiful. They are both good, night and day, different but none better than the other. Of course, there is a difference in being abused and creating contention. Those are bad and not healthy in marriage.

The third myth about divorce was comforting. It is a big fear of mine because it is such a huge deal. The person we decide to marry is so vital. We prepare for basketball games, college and other things but not usually marriage. My parents have been married for over 25 years so they are goals. However, that myth always bugged me because it is a huge number. What we learned that was there are many factors that go into divorce numbers. The first that stuck out was that a lot of people don't really get married in the first place anymore so those numbers are not accounted for. According to the National Marriage Project in 2009 "Your chances of divorce are very low indeed." If, we have "a fairly good education, good income, come from an intact family, have a religious affiliation and marry after the age of 25 without having a baby before marriage." Of course, more factors of you must put in your full commitment and work for your marriage.

These myths are interesting because they naturally lead into trends. Trends are basically a lot of people are doing it.

When I read these trends and we discussed them in class, I thought about the people of the Navajo reservation. I wondered how it affected the society there. Something I was bummed about but not surprised was there were no Native American numbers on the studies. Just Black, White, Asian and Hispanic. Hopefully someday I could do a study on that and share more. But for now, what I noticed was that all these trends influenced on another. Two trends that affect the family are Pre-marital sex and cohabitation. These two are so common now. I know so many people who are doing both. I know they are good people who have good desires. Yet, they may also not know the effects that it has on them and the family. Cohabitation happens among 60-80% of people in America. It is two people living together having an intimate and usually sexual relationship. They could have children under the age of 18. They are not legally married. Pre-marital sex is common among high school students and people in college. Even though the numbers are not as high as they were in the 80s, it is still up there. These are interesting to me because I see how it can lead to births of unmarried women, delayed marriage, divorce, employed mothers, and having less children.

There are many advantages to being married. It is a great source to greater happiness. Both married men and women are happier, physically and emotionally healthier, usually don’t get caught up in alcohol or drugs and so much more. The commitment is good for their well being and even their children.

 I know that all children have different circumstances. I was fortunate enough to have both of my parents. It was sad to see how it affected others when their parents were divorced, single, and more. However, I do believe we can all choose to be different than our up bringing. These trends affect families because they start to become the norm.

If anything, I have learned that strong families really affect society. It starts within our own homes. Then it moves to communities and nations. Families are the "fundamental unit of society." They are our strength at the end of the day.

This is my paternal grandmother and some of my cousins.