STRESS

As I read the material and studied stress this week, it helped me change my perspective. The word stress itself makes me feel stressed. It also makes me think about what am I stressing about right now? I usually stress about the normal things of money, relationships, school and the future. What I have learned is that it is okay to stress about these things. Stress is good and when used correctly can help us grow. If we lived a careless life with no boundaries, we would not learn. Thus, stress is strain. It is like when a muscle needs strain to be strong. If the muscle is not worked and strained, then it would just be weak or limp. I don’t remember it was from but in class we said, “Ease is one of the greatest disease.”

Benefits come from difficulties and Crisis. Crisis in the Chinese culture is danger but also opportunity. When we see it as an opportunity, it can help us approach it for a benefit. Stress Is necessary to strengthen the structure and even our family structures. Family stresses are difficult. They really suck and are hard on everyone. Some of the common family stressors are finances, divorce, father/mother dying, job loss, and medical problems.

We talked about how A+B+C = X. So how does this relate to stress? The A is the actual event, B is both how the family uses the resources and responds, C is cognition and X is the experience. Some resources that the family can use are talents, family members, church, and professional help. Cognition is the thoughts about the event.

In these events that we all face at someone point in our lives we can change our perception of it. It will probably not be any easier but whenever we face the next challenge we can know better how to approach and use our resources. It can expand our vision. We can see it as an opportunity to strengthen our family. We can’t let one moment define our lives. The experiences we go through can help us become something more.

I think one of the biggest things I have been through in my life was leaving my family for 18 months. I only talked to them once a week and got to skype them on Christmas and Mother’s Day. It was hard to leave them and trust that they were going to be okay. It was a growing experience for the both of us. There were a lot of heartaches with deaths in the family, medical problems and relationship problems. Just a little background about my family, we all didn’t really talk to each other much. Yet, they supported me when I went to California. Then, one day I got an email from my mom telling me of the event that occurred in my family. My father was in the ICU for one week. At first, he was acting weird and was ill, so they took them to the hospital. They didn’t know what was wrong with him, but they found out he had meningitis. Which is not good at all and could be life threatening. However, it was a huge blessing that they were able to treat him as soon as they found out. As this was going on, I had no idea. My father’s family were all there together and were still acting a little petty towards each other. But with this crisis happening my grandmother talked to my family and told them they needed to stop. She told them we are family and we need each other. I am forever grateful for her words. In that moment even though I was not there, my family came together. My dad is an incredible man. If we lost him that would’ve been devastating but my family turned to their resources. They turned to each other, turned to prayer and trust in God.

That was a huge moment in my family and now we all talk. We spend more time together and let go of the past. It took something huge to change that, but I am glad we have each other. Stress sucks and is such a pain. However, it can be used for good. Families can be strengthened through the storms.