Communication!

 

We live in a world where there are a lot of different types of communication. Sometimes we don’t know what things mean. There may be misunderstanding and hurt feelings. However, don’t people say if you communicate more relationships will improve? That is partly true! When there is effective communication it does help relationships. We all understand differently, so it is important for us to learn people’s communication. Communication is 14% words, 51% nonverbal and 35% tone. We all communicate through social media now. It is faster, easier and connects people from afar. Although it is still important to work on our face to face communication.

In the Native culture, humor is a way that people communicate. We tease each other a lot but do not do it to hurt the people we are teasing. There is also a lot of slang that people are picking up to communicate with each other. For example, “jini,” means “they say.” Which I think is funny because it is like teasing but also portraying something someone said. Humor signifies one’s love for another. It also shows how light hearted the people are. Movies often portray Native people as not being able to understand English and just shouting nonsense or smoke signals. However, we are more than what is in the movies. We talk to each other and show love through different ways.

Another communication type that is typical in Native culture is through facial expressions. We often know when our mother’s or grandmothers are upset with us. We call it the ‘Native glare.’ In that moment we know we are in big trouble and we are going to be punished.

When I thought about these communication types, I realized I have carried them with me. Even the ones that my parents have done. A specific example is being passive. My mom is passive to my dad and gives him the silent treatment too. I have realized that even the silent treatment is a form of communication. It is being silent to someone because they made you upset, sad or angry. This is still showing them the way you feel. You can miscommunicate by not communicating. The person who is receiving the silence may be oblivious or dying inside because you are not telling them.

But with all that I have learned this week is that communication takes work. We can really be kind and thoughtful in lifting others up. Of course, I think we can have fun and tease, but it is important for our communication to be positive. It is empowering for people to hear words of encouragement, love and praise. It is also important to be a good listener in a world where everyone wants to be overpowering. Listening is also important in communication.

We also do our part by clarifying what we really mean. When we realize that sometimes people seem offensive, they are in all honesty just playing defense. People want to be understood. Thus, when we have our eyes wide open and see them as people that can change the way we understand them. We don’t have the right to tell someone they are in the wrong when we don’t know where they are coming from. It is good for us to stand up for what is right, but we can do that in a loving way.

Thus, in our own families we realize communication is important. It helps us see each other from their perspective but also have new one’s in our lives. If you see someone as less threatening it can help you in that relationship. We need to also communicate when we are in a good state. Anger makes 1/3 of the brain shut off. That then makes it harder to communicate. In those moments it is best to breathe and even say “we can discuss this later.” There are many different way and we can learn them as we are open minded and willing to learn. Communication is a fundamental but with other factors can be powerful.