Marital Intimacy

There are so many patterns that people can develop in their relationships. Some with their parents, siblings, friends and spouses. Thus, wouldn’t we want to establish good patterns in our lives? Well, yes!

The pattern we learned about this week was marital intimacy and the significant differences in this vital factor. As well as the stages of sexual relations, challenges of sexual intimacy that may arise and opportunities.

This topic is somewhat touchy or uncommon for parents to have with their children. However, if we slowly and honestly teach our children they can learn correct patterns. Sexual/Marital intimacy is important to healthy relationships; thus, it is a good thing to talk about. It is so easy to get caught up in what the world teaches about sex. We live in a “sexualized” world. We hear sexual content in music, see it on television, movies and can access it on our social media sites. With these fantasies, unrealistic expectations and faults people can be disappointed and discouraged.

I will go over a brief overview that is important for people to know about sex. There are four stages in both male and female. They go through the same stages but at different paces. The first stage is arousal/excitement. This involves the heart rate and blood increasing with digestion going down. Males have an erection and female’s vaginal muscles relax while lubricating. Their nerves change at different phases as well. The next stage is Plateau which is usually shorter for men and longer with women. Climax or orgasm is the third stage. The people feel these normally at different times. It is rhythmic contractions and pleasure. A woman could have multiple orgasms but varies as well. The last stage is the refractory stage. In this stage things calm down and is a recover from the sex. While this is taking place, the bodies are experiencing serotonin, dopamine and in women oxytocin.

With this experience there are some challenges. Some of these could be misunderstanding, being offended, mistrust because of previous partner, fear, confusion of each other’s body, discomfort, inferior to what they expected, unrealistic expectations, painful, selfishness and pornography.

Yet, there are also some opportunities to overcome these challenges. There can be more open communication about what the person wants and needs. It brings the couple closer and bonds them. It involves some planning and preparing to discuss this important relationship. It can bring opportunities of unselfishness in the couple’s relationship. More openness, unity and accommodation.

When we consider these challenges and opportunities of sexual relationships we can help our children. With all the filth and unrealistic ideas of sex our children can be led astray. Thus, when we establish patterns when they are young they can know that when they are married this can be an amazing experience for them. Martial intimacy is good and when help within the bounds of marriage it is fulfilling.

Growing up I didn’t ever talk about these things with my parents. Also, my peers did not know a whole lot about these things. A lot of people were participating in sexual relations and I could see the struggles that came with not knowing much. People were often hurt and felt used. Some people were left single moms and others with having to drop out. At the time it would have been helpful for them and me to know that those feelings were natural. As well as that there are ways we can control or even be safe when it comes to sex. When people are not aware of these things a lot of heartache happens. But as we take responsibility as parents and future parents we can help our families.